Giving time

Giving time
The email arrived. “Remember me? We met on the ferry last week? I’ve been looking at the website, and I’d love to volunteer… what do I do next?”

Indeed I did remember.
Travelling home on the ferry from Vancouver Island, we’d struck up conversation with one another, shared our stories. Her open and ready smile portrays her friendly and positive attitude. A ready laugh, an approachable manner. She has seen troubles, though. Although in her early 20s the cane she used was temporary, until the knee and hip replacement surgery. And the surgery was only a minimal inconvenience, since the cancer that was going to imminently take her life at age 16 was gone, had been for several years. The extensive organ damage from chemotherapy, a second threat, was also healed. She was happy with the temporary cane.

We met and toured Emergency Shelter and housing in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside, chatting about what volunteer tasks she saw herself doing. “I’ll do whatever needs to be done. I like people.” Optimism and hope radiate from her. I want to place here where she’ll have contact with people.

She starts her volunteer role this week. And while the task she does is simple and important, the true gift she brings is a genuine friendliness and a positive attitude. She has strength and empathy from having faced death, and yet firmly embraced life.
She is a hero.

Homelessness - what's after?

Homelessness – what’s after?
Introduce the subject of homelessness into a conversation and you’re almost guaranteed to get an extreme reaction. A reaction that is either a compassionate declaration of action to help people who have hit misfortune, or a politicized lecture on why people shouldn’t be helped, but should perhaps be shipped out-of-province.

Homelessness is not a single issue. It is also not a one-size-fits-all solution.
So… let’s forget about the word “homelessness” for a moment, and consider people.

What about ‘George’? A developmentally disabled more mature adult from BC, George’s family are not in close contact with him. He has a history of living on the street, but that is long in his past. Now he lives in a bachelor suite in a supported (staffed) community, collects a pension that he’s learned to manage, and volunteers every day in an office, running errands or helping where he can.

Or we’ll consider ‘Robert’. A Vancouverite who accepted help to give up alcohol, go back to school, and get himself back on-track to the middle management work that he did before life on the streets.

Or ‘Bill’. A widower, now in retirement housing, who needed help to sort out the paperwork to get housed, to receive his pension. Lost without his wife, he had found himself on the streets, a homeless senior citizen, until offered some direction.

Or ‘John’. A 20-something who ended up on the streets after his Mom passed away, and the relationship with his Dad deteriorated. Given just a little encouragement and help, he is completely on track with full time work and his own condo. And he and his Dad are working on their relationship.

Are there stories that don’t have a happy ending? Sadly, yes, there are. But for the people that we can make a difference for, we do.

You can too.

Unpredictable side

Unpredictable side
I was in the Shelter office, on hold for the Producer of a local morning TV news magazine.
Fairly new to working in an Emergency Shelter, I thought that it’d be a great idea to demystify Shelter life by inviting the crew over to tape a segment from our location.

While listening to generic “hold” music I looked out in the lobby, thinking about where the cameras could set up. Privacy, always important to preserve, could be maintained by placing a camera where Shelter guests could be in front of it, or easily avoid it, whichever they chose. The front desk had the appearance of a very clean, inexpensive hotel, perhaps over there…

Everyone I’d met, both staff and guests, were friendly, regular folks, some of whom happened to be down on their luck. As “hold” time continued, a muttering outside the office became louder. Unconcerned, I continued to consider the storyline of normalcy and safety. The muttering outside the office escalated to a single voice shouting loudly, before the young woman responsible went outside. Somewhat fortunately, “hold” went on still longer, and I disconnected, to try another day.

I was seeing the sometimes unpredictable side of Shelter life.
This lovely young woman was muttering to the voices that spoke to her in her illness, an illness made worse by the drugs that had eaten at her brain. She left us shortly after that, back to the hospital.

Stop and look...

Stop and look...
Bill started to chase the homeless guy away from the store parking lot yet again, but this time something stopped him. This time Bill looked at him… really looked him in the face, “What are we doing this for? You hang around, I ask you to leave, and we keep doing this week after week. What’s up?”

The two men started a dialogue then for the first time, surprisingly finding some common ground as they identified mutual family friends. Some similarities of growing up in similar neighbourhoods emerged. Of being close in age.

How did the homelessness come about?
A bad workplace accident that kept this man hospitalized for almost a year, during which time he lost his apartment and much of his stuff. Left with brain injury he was discharged to go back to a life he no longer recognized, eventually ending up on the street.

“Do you have any money? What about a Disability claim?” Bill wanted to know. Hearing that the paperwork itself was the problem, Bill brought in another friend, and the three of them helped to fill out the correct paperwork – a beginning to life off the street.

Bravo to this businessman who took a moment to stop and look, who found out to help, and then made a difference in someone’s life.

What's your reason?

What’s your reason?
Even the day after dental surgery, Bob was engagingly funny as we chatted in the Emergency Shelter where he temporarily stays. He shared a little of his life. “Yeah, I slept outside for a long time now. Years probably. Then Dave came across the street one day and asked if I had any income at all, at least welfare or disability or pension, and why not. And that he’d help. He got me here, and we’re taking care of my health. He’s a great guy.”

Do you ever look at a ragged looking person on the street corner and experience a flash of emotions tumbling together?
• Fear. (Will I be robbed or attacked? Will I be made to feel uncomfortable because I have stuff and they don’t seem to?)
• Superiority. (I would never have let myself get like this.)
• Impatience. (I don’t have time for this!)
• Anger. (I shouldn’t have to deal with this.)
• Indifference. (They chose this, they’ll figure it out. Just as long as they leave me alone!)
• Judgment. (They made bad choices and now they’re living with them.)
Or... compassion?

Would you cross the street to ask if someone needed help?

The most effective ways to offer help are to assist in connecting the hurting with the people and organizations that are best equipped to address their needs. The staff in sheltering organizations are experienced in addressing people’s needs, whether the issue is housing, ill health, addiction, or another. Google and find out how you can refer people, how you can volunteer, how you can make a difference.

Asset Development

Asset Development
Caring family; positive role models; time used constructively; friends who behave responsibly; volunteer activities in community; reading for fun; honesty; being a friend; having high self esteem…

Not all assets are financial.

Imagine a community of people that act with integrity, use time constructively, who behave responsibly. People who feel good about themselves, and give of themselves to friends, and give through community volunteerism. Their lives are not ruled by fear or defined by lack or by feeling less-than, but they are certain of their own value and place in the world.

The parent, the community member, the support worker ask, “How do we encourage and develop these qualities, these personal assets – in our kids, and in the people in my community that really need encouragement. How do I enhance it in myself?”

It has been said that significant change is not possible without significant relationship. I have a vision. A vision in which leaders from all levels of our communities band together, determined to offer support and vision and positive role modeling – significant relationship – to youth, to those living in poverty, and to one another.

What would happen?
Our communities will be transformed.

Literacy

Literacy

Mandy sat among her close friends, mortified because it was going to be her turn to read next. They looked at her, smiling, expectantly. Her heart was pounding. “No, I’ll pass this time, you go.” The next woman took the turn amiably, no one the wiser.

The time came when the friends made noises of departure. Mandy stopped them. She knew it was time to come clean. “Listen you guys, she began. I have something I want to tell you.” She was nervous, but kept going, “you are my friends, and I feel good sharing this with you, and it’s time. I can’t read.” She went on, quickly, “But I’m going to learn now, and I just want you to be patient with me.”

That was many years ago. “Mandy” not only learned how to read, she learned to teach, and works with men and women who are facing difficult times. She overcame the label that she had put on herself of "stupid".

While having skill at reading is important in our society, adults who don’t read often give up trying to learn because they feel shame at admitting it, label themselves as stupid, and suffer from low self esteem – and this despite demonstrated brilliance and success in other areas of their lives.

Literacy is commonly associated with the 3Rs (Reading, wRiting, aRithmetic) and has extended to a basic knowledge of technology – but encompasses so much more. It is also about being able to express ideas and opinions appropriately, make decisions and problem-solve, and is about knowing how to be effective in family and in community. Illiterate does not equal worthless. Illiterate equals opportunity-to-learn important skills for life. We need to recognize and embrace the concept of opportunity.

Mandy was fortunate in knowing what she wanted to do, she had a goal. She knew how to go about working at the goal, and access learning. She had a support system of friends and family. And she had the determination to stick with it, and a schedule that allowed learning.

Not everyone has those advantages. Some haven’t learned to read or to be functionally literate because of a learning disability, or a chaotic home life, or an interrupted education, or because they’ve been told until they believe it that they’ll never learn.

They may end up on the street or in a Shelter, not knowing “what” they don’t know, but feeling certain that the problem is a lack within them, afraid to share that thought. People will often share deeply personal issues and abuses before they share their reading inability.

The great news is that with the help of both learning organizations and volunteer mentors, we can make a difference. The first step is to take away the stigma associated with not having a certain level of knowledge (e.g., reading, problem solving). All learning starts somewhere. The next step is to support learning in the ways that you can. Learn more about how you can help.

Together, we make a difference in our communities, to our people.


To find out more about how you can help, contact your local Board of Education (now mandated for education from cradle to grave), or send me an email, and I’ll put you in touch with an organization.

'Night 'Night, sleep tight, don't...

‘Night ‘Night, sleep tight, don’t…

One of the more unsavoury aspects of living life close to the streets is the constant battle with bedbugs. A battle not confined to those living in poverty, but one that is made more difficult in poverty.

These dreadful little creatures, while easy to kill, are difficult to get rid of. I won’t go into detailing the habits of bedbugs (just talking about them tends to make people scratch in sympathy), except to mention the effect of their existence on people.

Imagine waking up each morning with a row of intensely itchy bug bites on your arms. You can’t sleep properly at night imagining that you can feel the pests. This insomnia, however slight, makes you feel out-of-sorts. You try to not scratch too much, mindful of possible secondary infection.

When you’ve confirmed the cause of your discomfort, you gather up and bag every item of clothing and bedding and blankets that are in the room and set out to wash and dry every item. No vehicle? Well, you’ll walk to the nearest Laundromat with as much as you can carry. No money? You’ll wash as much as you can afford to wash, keeping the bags tightly sealed in the interim, your belongings then inaccessible.

You stand and survey your room, an inexpensive, OK, cheap, little weekly rental in a worn out building. The mattress… yes, they are probably there, too. If you are lucky enough to live in a building that has one of the few furniture saunas in Vancouver, the problem is taken care of easily and safely with the help of staff. If there isn’t a sauna, the process of contacting staff to engage exterminators begins. You likely lose your room in the interim. You contemplate not saying anything. It’s cold and wet outside, and rooms are hard to find. It might be better to share with the bedbugs…

This is a slice of a bedbug experience for some who live in poverty, and who do not have a supportive team of people who can help, who can be advocates.

I’ll ease your mind in this close… bedbugs and their eggs are easily killed by cold (72 hours in the deepfreeze) or by heat (6 hours in the dry sauna). Laundering, especially with a dry cycle of an hour is also effective. Used with other strategies (an enzyme spray for shoes or diatomaceous earth along baseboards) eradication is possible.